Today, I let doubt come into my mind. With it’s slinky, sneaky manner, I didn’t even see it coming. Gradually, I felt heavy, anxious, burdened and restless. Oh so restless. By the time I recognized it, I had allowed nearly a full day to go by with a string of negative thoughts playing over and over again in my head. With it’s subtle style of imposition, I let doubt exploit my insecurities and tell me, “This road is much too long for you to travel. The obstacles are just too great for you to overcome. Only fools continue to believe in hope.” Doubt had done it’s job perfectly and I was left feeling quite discouraged.
Couldn’t I just reason with doubt? Surely, my mind must be more powerful than to except these lies as fact. After all, progress has been made. Even my Instagram pics can prove that! Doubt has a way of ignoring the evidence though and persuades me to mistrust my success. “What if this is as good as it will get for you?” It asks. Tearfully, I retreated to my room, alone.
I began to fix my thoughts on the truth, the good, the lovely, and the milestones along my journey thus far:
I was once declining in health, and now have a proper diagnosis.
I became bedridden, but now I can walk short distances.
I was isolated for many months but have since enjoyed a few, special moments of quality time with friends and family.
These are but a few of the wondrous and glorious victories I have celebrated during my long battle with Lyme Disease. These are the triumphs upon which I must continue to dwell. Peace is found here.
Goodnight and goodbye doubt. I am grateful that tomorrow will once again bring about an opportunity for new joy and hope in my life. I am choosing to live with this mindset.